Mandy Mustaro: I am nt sure if this isa joke but here I go....I live in the country. I went outside and I heard someone who was clearly in pain. I lloked in the field and saw a trsctor turned over with a armer trpped underneath. I ran to him and tried to free him from the wreckage but could not. About then a fire started and the man began to scream for help. I could see that his toe was stuck under the pedal of the machine. He looked up at me and said what can I do. The fire was getting closer to him. Quicky after giving it some thought I began to walk away. The man screamed where are you going...I turn and looked and told him I was going to make a call...he said where. I said it was clear that the only one who could help him was a "toe" truck....Show more
Lawana Neemann: HUH HUH HUH YOU SAID BUSHHUH HUH HUH YOU SAID DICK
Ginny Trickett: My friend told me this one.....its a little bad.How many Bill CLintons' does it take to screw in a lightbulb??! ?12. Thank goodness we only have one though.Yet again,How many Bill Clinton's does it take to screw a lightbulb???One.Sorry if it seems offensive but that's the only joke I can think of. If you have funnier ones (which everybody MUST have) then please give me some....Show more
Dawn Saha: Much has already been published about the sexual preferences and notorious behavior of former President Clinton.However, little has been reported on the sexual practices of the current Commander-in-Chief. It has recently been learned that the President and Mrs. Bush only make love with Laura Bush on top since George W. Bush can only f**k up
Bruce Calise: u really made me laugh my @$$ loud`````````````` `````````````` ```````````` ``````
Dorine Nurre: 10 points for the best joke that makes me laugh.
Charline Granes: What if You Say "f*** You"(sorry i censored it) to the Heads of State:USAYou say "f*** you" to the President of USA. Nothing happens, you become famous,! they make you write a book and you make millions of dollars. ! But meanwhile the President sues you and gets all the money you have. EnglandYou say "f*** you" to the Prime Minister of England. The Prime Minister says "f*** you" to you too. FranceYou say "f*** you" to the President of France. Millions of people support you and say "f*** you" to the President. Meanwhile the President of France writes poems because of his sadness. JapanYou say "f*** you" to the Emperor of Japan. The Emperor bows and says "I velly solly; I not intelested on your body." GermanyYou say "f*** you" to the President of Germany. The police come and say "Please don't f*** the President". SwedenYou say "f*** you" to the Prime Minister of Sweden. People vote if they accept you to f*** the Prime Minister or not. If the answer is yes, you f*** the Prime Minister. If the answer is no, the Prime Minister shakes your hand. RomaniaYou say "f*** you" to the President of Romania. The President starts dancing with you with gypsy music. TurkeyYou say "f*** you" to the Presid! ent of Turkey. The President takes his gun and shoots you. He goes to jail for 8 years or escapes the country and Greece welcomes him as a political refugee. GreeceYou say "f*** you" to the President of Greece. The president takes his gun and shoots you. He goes to jail for 8 years or escapes the country and Turkey welcomes him as a political refugee. ChinaYou say "f*** you" to the President of China. The president literally f***s you. ItalyYou say "f*** you" to the President of Italy. You get price quotes from the Mafia for realizing your passion. RussiaYou say "f*** you" to the President of Russia. The president kisses your mouth. Saudi ArabiaYou say "f*** you" to the President ... But there is no President, you become foolish. But if you say "f*** you" to the King, the King cuts your tongue.
Jill Thomer: Why did Pancho Villa only take 300 men to the Alamo?Because he only had two cars
Joellen Zorrilla: i love the office...
Nadia Crauswell: hahahahahahaha! hahahaha, duuuude, NICE.Lol I use this all the time, it works so good w! ith alot of things.Hahaha keep up the good work.Have you seen The Office? haha Michael cracks me up....Show more
Moira Woodrow: Clinton, Bush and Washington are all on the Titanic, and its sinking. Washington says:"Save The Women!!!"Bush says: "Screw the women!!"Clinton's eyes light up and he says:"Do we have time?"
Ronny Nowzari: Bush sr. and Bush jr. are having a conversation.The current president asks his father about the situation in Iraq.Bush senior replies..." The solution to the problem you're having with Iraq is a lot like a mistake I made with your mother many years ago.. both you and I made a decision that caused a lot of pain and suffering in the world, but in retrospect the answer is easy....We both should've pulled out sooner.
Scot Sepulbeda: This isn't really a question at all. Why post this here?But, I admit, it is funny.
Guy Bonamico: LMAO! that was funny...
Devon Kalberer: Y did Lorena Bobbits the chicken cross the road ? he wa! s lookin for his cock. c o _ k !
Von Houskeeper: Sex pose "Vulture": you land on the edge of the bed and wait for the carcass to sleep.
Letitia Bigelow: Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.Titanic virus: Makes your whole computer go down.Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy.Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.Sharon Stone virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.Tim Allen virus: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.HBO virus: Runs the ! same programs over and over, week after week after week.Woody Allen vir! us: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.NFL Blackout virus: Will only let you run progams on a remote terminal that's more than 75 miles away.Linda Tripp virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards them to the authorities.Bill Clinton virus: Won't let you query the system for information.Rush Limbaugh virus: Biases everything to the right.Ken Starr virus: Expands a focused search of a specific file into a global interregation of every existing file. Creates links between unrelated data. Works extremely slow while searching and compiling results.Al Gore virus: Runs quietly in background mode but doesn't appear to really do much of anything.Saddam Hussein virus: Won't let you into any of your programs.Tonya Harding virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.George Michael virus: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files.Jerry Seinfeld virus: Program about nothing that exits w! hen you're really enjoying it.David Caruso NYPD Blue virus: After running successfully for a while, it exits the program it was in and never works again.Pee Wee Herman virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.X-files virus: All your Icons start shape shifting.Spice Girl virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.AT&T virus: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back....Show more
Maryland Gareau: Q: What do you get when you take the millionaire son of a vice-president/president/oil man and run him as a folksy, everyday, political outsider?A: Don't tell me you haven't been paying attention the last six years.
Tomeka Hameen: So me and my friend were playing this game 1VS1 and there were like 40 people in my house literally..and my friend was like TAP THE BUTTON HARDER HARDER HARDER!!!" and i paused the game and i was like "Thats what she said" and i! got everyone Dying laughing...i thought i would share that just cause ! i thought it was hilarious xDDD
Inge Mclaurine: We already have the biggest living joke alive in the White House, and his name is George Bush, but the only thing is that by the time he's finished his presidency there will be very little to laugh about and the tears will be endless
Dexter Dicostanzo: Uhhh... In my pants?
Raul Tllo: .A seven-year-old?turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher.Teacher: "Morning Tommy, and why weren't you at school yesterday?"Tommy: "Well Miss, my Grandad got burnt."Teacher: "Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt I hope?"Tommy: "Oh yes Miss, they don't mess around at those crematoriums."...Show more
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